it was a wonderful day during our move into texas. we had finally found a place to rent and were just waiting until we got to move in and feel some sort of settled after running around the world for so long. a house. we had visions of decorating and planting gardens and hanging curtains. we felt like things were finally going to calm down for us for a while, and we were looking forward to the feeling of settling down we were aching for.
this was clearly too much to ask for. things just weren't going to calm down- they quickly turned our world upside down. i found out i was, in fact, in the middle of a miscarriage. it was a 8-hour trip to the emergency room of ups and downs and not having any idea what was going on. doctors and nurses came in and out ordering this lab and that. we were exhausted and hadn't slept and were on an emotional roller coaster from hell. then, they were finally sure and gave us the news we were hoping we weren't going to have to hear.
there was shock and anger and frustration, and a whole lot of exhaustion. the past 2 1/2 weeks have been crazy to say the least and i'm still not sure what to think or feel or what to say. we know that time will heal everything, and life goes on. we are hopeful things will fall back into place and feel normal again, but for the time being, please bear with us if we aren't quite ourselves!
as for the house, we are settling in quite nicely. we have some furniture, and can finally cook at home again, so it is great. i planted some flowers in our front garden to add some color to the boring, ugly bushes and cedar chips and it really livened the place up! we got two bird feeders and the birds haven't stopped hanging out in the backyard and i have seeds sprouting (hopefully!) in a mini-greenhouse. we have figured out how to recycle (thank goodness, because all the furniture has created a mighty large pile of cardboard in the garage!) and i'm looking for a simple compost bin for the backyard. i'm going to try to grow some of our veggies and herbs this year and be as green as i can in the city limits. :)
happy everything! (and thanks for listening!!)
My heart sank as I read this. I have also experienced this loss. I will be thinking of you during this time.
ReplyDeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteI have a friend whose 1st baby was stillborn. She is really good articulating the emotions that go with the loss of a child. You should check out her blog. www.manzvillecanada.blogspot.com Click on "the story of Autumn".
I am praying for you.
Laurie
SO SO SORRY.
ReplyDeleteI, too, have been there, Courtney, so I can appreciate your experience of this loss.
Will be thinking of you. I hope you will continue to fee as positive as you sound in this March 8th post.
Thoughts and prayers with you and your hubby...keep trying girl, everything happens for a reason!
ReplyDelete