friends, of the fair-weather variety

hello, friends. today over my tea i'm thinking about friendship and what that word really means. according to the dictionary it is defined: 


the state of being a friendassociation as friendsto value a person's friendship.
a friendly relation or intimacy.
friendly feeling or disposition.
before 900; Middle English; Old English frÄ“ondscipe.  See friend-ship

pre·friend·ship, noun

2. harmony, accord, understanding, rapport.

in your life, what is a friend? what constitutes a friendship? growing up in a military family friendship was always tentative for me. friends came and went as we moved and saying goodbye always stung like a bee, harsh and then slowly faded away. i found myself becoming more standoffish and less interested in having close friends, knowing i would have to leave them at some point. i thought that was the easy answer to not having to go through the ordeal of saying goodbye, but we all know that leads to loneliness, which is just as bad as the goodbyes in the end.

i have always been adamant about staying in touch with old friends since i moved around so much- 'civilian' kids don't really get that, but i tried. facebook has helped, but it's certainly not the same as being able to get together with friends and have a cup of coffee or dinner. i feel like i am missing out on major events in my friends lives, and vice versa. 

each time we move, we try to find ways of meeting people who are similar that we can spend time with- we try to find FRIENDS. this never seems to work out, and i find it's more and more difficult to meet people that want to DO things. don't get me wrong, we have friends who are good for dinners occasionally, or to meet for drinks, but not much more. they aren't the type of people who would help you move to a new house, or pick you up if your car broke down, if you needed help from someone in the middle of the night, they aren't the ones you'd call. these are what my grandmother always called fair-weather friends, the ones who are there only when it's convenient for them.

where do you find the GOOD friends? the ones who are all in, who love you, and want to see you succeed. they support you and cheer you on through the ups and downs and kick you in the ass when you are acting like an idiot and laugh in your face when you need a dash of honesty. i have a lot of these friends in my life, but they aren't physically in my life. they are scattered to the winds in every corner of the world, and while i know they're out there if i need to talk, but i want to be able to sit over a cup of coffee with them. NOW. 

i'm struck with the idea that in our digital, can't-slow-down-to-smell-the-roses paced life that these friends are few and far between, and may never grace you with their presence. maybe my feelings on friends is only because of the highly mobile lifestyle we have chosen for ourselves. do we need to settle down somewhere for years before people like this show up? or is this something i should just not worry about, chalk it up to a #firstworldproblem and let it be? 

how do you feel about friends? how often do you call, or get together with your friends? do you feel your friends slipping away because you can't find the time? 

i'd love to know your thoughts! Xx